I, along with all the other kids growing up in the mid-80's to 90's, were taught that the best thing we could do for our future is collect baseball cards, because they would ultimately lead us to a life of riches and glory beyond our wildest dreams. Countless cards shops sprung up all over the place, and every weekend in the summer there would be a card show somewhere, with a promise of big name ball players there to sign autographs. Usually we were promised Willie Mays, and got Jim Barr.
And so, on this gray March Friday, on my OSHA mandated 15 minute breaks, I present:
Baseball Cards that I was promised would surely be worth something someday, and went absolutely nowhere (along with all baseball cards collected at this time.)
1. Matt Nokes- While this card is worthless, 11 years in the majors in nothing to sneeze at. And his middle name is Dodge. That's pretty cool.
2. Tom Gordon- Another 11 year veteran. This guy was supposed to be the shit. Stephen King made him a essential yet strange part of a short story. His card that is worth the most is a error card.... at $0.40. So if I had 1,000,000 of those error cards, I would be living in the tall cotton.
3. Hensley Muelens- First off, he helped the Giants a lot as a hitting coach, so I got to give it up for that. And he fit in well with the Ryan Vogelsong faction of wayward players who finally make a impact long after the hype has worn off. Muelens played some real off the grid, Japan, Europe, Korean, Mexico. But I clearly remember thinking this guy was totally my ticket to a new boom box someday.
4. Mike Greenwell and Andy Van Slyke- I got so many cards of these two guys, and has anyone even thought about them in the last 15 years, except smarmy blog writers who decide to disparage people who attained what they coveted most? They both played for 11-12 years, had fairly decent careers, but remember that isn't the point, the crooks at the cards shops urged me to invest heavily in both of these guys.
5. Chris Sabo- Another in the series I like to call, Ways to Rip off Kids. 8 years in the bigs and he led the Reds to a WS victory. But after that 1990 year, he dropped like a Satchel eephus pitch. According to Wikipedia, Pete Rose nicknamed Sabo "Spuds" because he looked like Spuds Mackenzie. Why do I have a sudden urge to wear a JimmyZ shirt and some wayfarers and wear my baseball hat on the back of my head so that my bangs can show the proper wave effect?
6. Jim Abbot- I think we all know that this was a feel good story, and if I have one player who I can at least get a good anecdote out of, this would be it. Amazing how the body can adapt and overcome with the right perseverance 10 years in the majors, threw a no-hitter, he was no flash in the pan. His rookie card leads the way with the highest value so far. $1.00
7. Kevin Seitzer- Another 11 year veteran, I never really knew much about this guy except that he was supposed to be great, and I should buy his card. He was probably riding the wave of the Royals 1985 WS win, and they needed someone to talk about. Was Bret Saberhagen already done with? Come on!
8. Walt Weiss- This one strikes close to home, cuz this was the 3rd Oakland player in a row to be named Rookie of the Year. Canseco and McGuire obviously need to have their own special place here, but, they at least seemed to live up to their hype for a while, so the case could be made they were a different beast (insert 'roid rage joke here.). But Weiss, he seemed alright, he made that error in the '88 WS that lent to the Dodgers winning, but he played 13 years in the majors, so he was obviously good enough to stick around. But after his first two years, I never heard a peep about him. A Topps Mint rookie card goes for $2.95. Way to go, Walt!
9. Wally Joyner- God, I have a lot of this guy's cards. And not just the regular Donruss, Topps kind, I got the Mother's cookies and Sportsflics ones too. Wally played for 16 years, mostly with the Angels, and apparently lost the ROY award to Canseco. I feel bad about that, no one should be in that position. He probably also had a sure thing to sleep with Madonna, and Jose muscled him out on that score too.
10. Gregg Jefferies and Sandy Alomar Jr- Some may say the penultimate in over-hype. 14 and 19 years in the bigs respectively, but man oh man, these guys was being put up with the greats before they even stepped on the field. Both seemed to epitomize the Million dollars worth of talent, worth 5 cents on delivery player, although Alomar was a ROY and 6-time Allstar, but was injured a lot. And by all accounts, Jefferies was a decent fellow, tried to appease New York Mets fans who turned on him after he failed to become the next Dimaggio. These two Future Star rookies (along with Ken Griffey Jr, who was worth the hype) were the most coveted thing to look for in card packs. Jefferies was a local boy too, Junipero Serra graduate, and now he lives in Pleasanton, and runs a sports complex.
So, having spent the time looking back at all of these guys and their careers, I have to say, they all were able to stick it out in MLB for quite some time. Hype aside, they made a living playing baseball at the highest level, and you can't argue with that. I just find it strange that a whole generation of kids was effectively duped, sold on the baseball card version of sub-prime mortgages. I did notice that the people running the card shops were usually not pillar of the community types, and more than once I saw kids out and out lied to. But one could say that about a lot of businesses, maybe just not the ones that cater to youth. And I guess I still cherish the excitement of going to the card shop, poring over the cards, seeing one that you knew you had at home and knowing that it was selling for $8.00 was thrilling. It was like having a savings account that you could tap into whenever you wanted to. So the take away message?
Here is my favorite explanation, by none other than the
Spaceman himself, Bill Lee:
...Kids today, they go, 'how much is your baseball card
worth?' And I'm going, 'A plug nickel, son, a plug nickel.' I'm saying, 'Son,
be your own person. Do not collect baseball cards. It will be the ruination of
you. Maybe you'll learn economics a little bit or you'll learn what value is.
But you're being an entrepreneur. An entrepreneur takes something of no value
and makes money on it. And I do not believe in that for kids.' I teach 'em
right off the bat: Learn the game. Do not look at Yuppie, do not look at the
Chicken. Do not look at that. Look at the ground ball. Field it cleanly with
both hands. Be as smooth as silk. You know, make the nice throw to second. Have
the nice breaking curve ball. Subtract on the changeup. See the ball and hit
it. Don't associate with the other things of the game. They will eventually bring
you down, eat you up and spit you out.
3 comments:
beautiful.
I had so many of those Tom Gordon cards... Lived in Sacramento back then and traded all my McGwire's and Cansecos to sucker A's fans for them. I guess I was the sucker in the end!
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